PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens!)

I don't know how to explain my feelings these days. I don't even consider this as a mid-life crisis because at my age, being 25 years old, I still considered myself as a young gunner. Trying the best of my ability to achieve my goals in life and as the old adage goes, age is just a number so pick yourself up.

I am missing my former colleagues here in the office and it's been three months ago when they were forced to resign due to (insert 'confidential matters'.) If you read my last entry here, I said that lots of things had happened the past months that I shouldn't divulge in here because the majority of them happened in our working place. I know I'll be seeing them again as well as my dear friends from my academic circle.

I can't sum up in words what I have here inside my achy heart. Pain and loss that I have been trying to hide lately because I don't want to make any scene that I'll regret later on. What a ride, what a roller coaster ride of emotions!

Just one thing that I am really sure of, that whatever is happening right now, good or bad, I know there's a purpose. A purpose that I'll understand soon, very soon. I should not let my guard down and I'll not let anyone ruin the happiness that I truly deserve. Life will not be complete without a little bit of sadness, anxiety, disappointment, defeat and so forth. In all of these, I'll choose to be happy not because I want to, but I should have to so I can move forward and be able to regain my composure once more.

These negativities will not make me sulk longer, I opted not to.

I lay it all to your healing hands, my dear Lord.

*current state of mind (&heart): broken but not missing!

CHEEEEEER UPPPPP MAIDEN BOOOOY!!!!

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